Ellery update....new meds

so the pediatrician changed Ellery's medication today....she's now on Zantac 2x per day and Reglan 3x daily - 30 minutes before feeding each time.....that's a hard one...a hungry 6 week old does not understand "you have to wait 30 mins" ROFL

We have an appointment with a GI at Children's Lexington on March 9. Thank goodness they could get us in so quickly.

I am truly at my wit's end. I know that people deal with SO much more than this...but she's so miserable..and in so much pain :(

she sleeps and wakes herself up crying in pain :( she just whimpers constantly....only occasionally do I get to see a smile and glimpse the baby she SHOULD be :(

it makes me so sad...i feel so helpless :(

No answers....no relief

we're going back to the pediatrician today....I feel like I've spent my life there...I've become one of those moms that I said I would never be.. .the kind that's always calling the doctor...always taking their kid to the doctor.... :(

Everytime we think we've turned a corner with the Reflux .....we slide backwards....now she's spitting up during every feeding, coughing during every feeding....full of gas...screaming in pain...not sleeping at ALL during the day.....I just don't know what to do anymore...we've done everything the doctor has said.....

last week the doctor we saw said "some babies are just fussy". I understand that..but this is not just fussy...... :(

I'm at my wit's end.....I really and truly am. I cry because I can't soothe her...I cry when she cries till she's purple and nothing helps....I cry because by the time they figure things out and my baby is happy and settled I'll have to go back to work and all I'll have is a few hours at night with her......

I cry.

Thank you April

My friend April sent Ellery the COOLEST present for her room!!!!

and because I'm THAT kind of mom....a new pic of my cutie!!!

Yesterday

I got my first real smile from my little monkey face :)

a REAL smile. . caused by me talking to her. . not a gas smile :)

she's soooo damn cute!!!

some new pics

is it a cat toy or an Ellery toy???

you decide!!!

Belle LOVES the gym..i think she thinks she's really in the rainforest.....last night Ellery was under it for the first time ......Belle walked over and looked at me like...."what the heck is SHE doing in my toy??!!!"....then Ellery moved her hand and Belle ran away LOL

happy valentine's day

from my cute little valentine :)

doctor's visits, insurance crap and Prilosec...oh my

yesterday was SUCH a fun day ::)

Ellery had her one month check up . . .she's 9lbs 4oz and 21 inches long....so she's gained over
2lbs from her birthweight and an inch :)

so that was the good part....

the not so good part

she SCREAMED in pain literally the entire visit.....honestly. .i was glad b/c the doctor finally could SEE that there is something that is not right with her....

her belly is all distended and she just screamed and screamed.

Dr. Stephens checked her stool for blood...to indicate colitis...luckily she doesn't have that....
SO

we started her on Prilosec suspension for reflux and are going to continue with the Alimentum formula. The doctor isn't sure if it's the reflux that's causing ALL the gas problems or if it's true formula intolerance as well....

we shall see.....

oh! and the insurance part.....the pharmacy told me that the prilosec suspension required a prior authorization from my insurance...i used to work in that department..luckily..b/c i was able to have the form faxed directly to an old coworker who was kind enough to make countless phone calls trying to figure out how to get it covered b/c it DOESN'T require a PA.....turns out the pharmacy was running it through wrong and the Tufts Pharmacy Operations Dept was able to put an override through for it.....sigh.....

no more

fear.....no more .....

i needed a kick in the butt....and i gave it to myself yesterday afternoon

I am scared to DEATH....BUT...i will NOT let my fear and this depression ruin my maternity leave and rob me of precious time with my baby and my family that I cannot get back....

I cannot get so deep into it and so sick that I need more severe intervention (i.e. hospitalization) . . my baby and my family need me...

SO

i'm going to be brave...i'm going to (try to) be strong.....i'm going to be the person and mother I know i can be.

Ellery...and my sanity...are too precious.....

A bad day....

Yesterday was pretty much as bad as it gets I think. Ellery did NOTHING but scream all day long. . literally from after her 10:30 bottle until well....last night..she screamed.....

we walked...she screamed

we rocked. . she screamed

i spoke calmly. ..she screamed

she cried....i cried.

man oh man.

finally john called the pediatrician and we took her in last night. . . of COURSE there's nothing wrong....but I feel better knowing that

however. . she got weighed....are you ready for this??? On January 25th she weighed 7lbs 4oz. ...last night February 6 she weighed 8lbs 12oz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy chunky monkey baby!!!

she's so freakin' cute. I just have to remember that.

Yesterday was just one bad day...right??!! :)

New Pictures!!!

This is the gorgeous present John's company sent us when Ellery was born!


Daddy and Ellery testing out the sling!!

Happy 3 week birthday princess!!!

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so....3 weeks already....I can't believe it. It feels like she's been here forever!!! Things this past week were a little easier... my mom stayed with us again from Wed. afternoon through Sat. morning.. . .I can't help but feel like i'm taking advantage.....

I still feel pretty crappy to be honest....the anxiety meds are helping and I'm hoping the anti depressant helps soon too. .. BUT this past week was better than the week before. . . and that's what I have to keep thinking....

Friday night into Sat. Ellery slept 8 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she had a bottle at 10pm and woke up at 6am!!!!! I leaned over to John at about 3 and was like. . I haven't heard the baby. . he's like. .your mom's taking care of her. .. .lol She hasn't done it since of course. . but we're getting about 5 hours at a time from her. .. so I will NOT complain!!! during the day though she fights her sleep SOOO badly and it's pretty miserable.

Poop is our other problem. . . . . they wanted me to put rice cereal in her bottle for a touch of reflux she MIGHT have...so we did. . . which constipated her even further than she already was....so then they told me to take it out. . then she wanted to eat every 2 hours b/c she couldn't get full. .. SO. . . now i'm giving her the baby oatmeal in her bottle with Karo syrup and that seems to be helping a little.....argh....this poor baby and her poop. . . we practically throw a party when she goes LOL. .i never thought I would have the following conversation with my husband:

Me: Did she poop?

John: YES!!

Me: Color??

John: uh, greenish

Me: Consistancy??

John: pasty

lol seriously..this is my life. . .and i'm learning to love every second of it :)